Boom Goes The Dynamite
by Pokere
Summary: In which Team Seven has an unhealthy love for explosives and Kakashi is an enabler.


It all started way back on the other Team 7.

Kakashi leaned heavily against the tree while Obito was sprawled out on the mercifully cool dirt. Rin wasn't much better, panting heavily from her spot on the ground.

"Bakashi what kind of devil did you sell your soul to not to be tired?" Obito whined. Kakashi opened one eye, the very picture of calm.

"Maybe you should exercise more." He was never going to tell them how much his legs ached. Or how his lungs were burning. He was a shinobi, the tireless Wolf, being tired was for mere mortal beings.

Maybe he should sit down.

Obito groaned, pressing his head into the dirt. "It's too bad Rin doesn't have an interest in elemental jutsu. And Sensei doesn't do explosive seals." He remarked.

Rin glanced at him. "And why is that?"

"Oh no offense! You're still super awesome and really good! But." Obito waved a hand at their training ground. "I bet we could have claimed a demolition specialty."

Kakashi surveyed the training grounds. It was littered in craters from the Lightning jutsu he had thrown around. Some poor tree was still crackling merrily from where Obito had tried to spit a fireball at Kakashi.

Not counting the multiple scorch marks all over the ground.

"Why is that bad?" Rin asked. Obito bounced up, fevered excitement in his eyes. Kakashi wondered if homicide was the answer.

Too bad it went against the shinobi rules. (Except if the comrade is traitorous, annoying, or wouldn't stop beating people with a cactus).

"Demolition is the best!" Obito clasped his hands together. It made him look like a civilian school girl mooning over her crush. "You get to blow stuff up and set it on fire and dance in the ashes."

He sighed dreamily. "My cousins would be so jealous."

There was the Uchiha side.

"And why would that be?" Rin asked. Even she looked a bit nervous now. Obito's hands were twitching into the signs used for most fire jutsu.

"The rite of adulthood is make a giant fireball. And if at first you don't succeed, add more fire." Obito said cheerily. Well that certainly explained a few things that Obito had done.

"That sounds stupid." Kakashi remarked. Obito twisted around to glare at him.

"Shut up Bakashi!"

"I'm correct though." Obito made a noise like an angry cat and lunged at him. Only to trip over his own feet and be sent sprawling across the ground.

* * *

The village would never quite understand the gift Danzo had given them.

Most of the shinobi from those dark days had retired or had been killed in action. The new generation weren't able to recognize the careful hands behind the scenes.

It was disappointing in a way. The Uchiha were a powerful clan. Konoha would be seen as weaker without them.

But Danzo remembered the days before the teams had been carefully selected to make sure none could walk down the path of demolition and arson. A team member added with little interest in explosions, fear of loud noises, or low chakra reserves.

Uchiha were terrifying enough when they weren't actively trying to blow up or burn down the village for 'training'.

If they succeeded with their coup, it would mean the resurrection of the Demolition Corps. And unlike the idiots in Iwa, Danzo had no intention of allowing that to happen on his watch.

(The Senju had the good sense to push the Uchiha into accepting the Military Police before addressing the Demolition Corps. Also known as 'please get another hobby, Hashirama has paperwork to do and he can't do it if he has to keep regrowing the forest).

(Tobirama had won the hat in a landslide because of his legendary water nature).

* * *

Then Sakura's alarm clock went off late.

She sprinted down the street, mind already dreaming up hellish scenarios. What if she got sent back to the academy, or had to take some super difficult test? What would Sasuke and Ino think of her then?

Her train of thought was brought to an abrupt end when she crashed into somebody.

Sakura stumbled back, barely avoiding tumbling to the ground. "Watch where you're going!" A woman said.

Sakura blushed. "I'm sorry." Then blushed even redder because the woman's clothes were just this side of modest dress.

"No problem kid. Recent graduate?" The woman asked.

"Yes, under Jounin sensei Kakashi." Sakura said timidly. The woman burst out laughing and Sakura flinched back. She was kind of weird.

"Looks like the Hokage still wants him to take a team." She said, wiping a tear away. "Although…"

The woman smiled. It was not a nice smile.

"Take these kid. You know how to activate seals, right?" The woman said. She reached in her pocket and pulled out a few pieces of paper. Sakura nodded, slowly accepting the papers.

The papers had beautifully inked swirling lines on them. Sakura was fascinated immediately.

"If Kakashi gives you a hard time, pump some chakra in, throw it at his head, and get clear." The woman said. Sakura nodded, clutching the paper slips to her chest.

"Thank you!"

"Don't thank me yet." The woman said, turning away.

"What's your name?" Sakura said. The woman twisted, flashing a smile.

"It's Anko Mitarashi, baby genin."

So a weird Jounin just gave her pieces of paper… Sakura stared after them, slightly bewildered.

"I'M STILL LATE!" Sakura yelled, charging forward into a sprint.

* * *

Years later, somehow Kakashi had been assigned a genin team.

Even if he wanted this one, he still felt slightly betrayed by this fact. The Hokage was very determined to get him to pass a team and 'learn responsibility'. Kakashi had no idea what he was referring too.

He was probably going to have to do some mental gymnastics to get this team passed. They were working together a bit but one word and it all fell apart.

(Also was there some sort of curse placed on Team 7? Because the way they interacted was insanely reminiscent of his own team).

He caught a flash of pink out of the corner of his eye, head leaning back. The Kuwaiti slammed into the tree right behind him. Shallow, not much in the way of physical strength.

Then ANBU intuition flared and Kakashi flung himself forward as the tree exploded, snagging a charging Naruto. With a flick of his hand, Naruto was sent sprawling to the ground.

"Time out minions!" Kakashi said cheerily. The Uchiha hissed. Kakashi lean back, twisting to look at a nervous Sakura. "Where did you get an explosive seal?"

"From Anko Mitarashi." Sakura said. Kakashi twitched, sighing. Why was he not surprised Anko would give a genin explosive tags to mess with him?

"In the future, you shouldn't trust somebody like that." Kakashi paused, musing thoughtfully. But on the other hand...

"What are your thoughts on explosives?"

If this worked, if his students were okay, he could train a team like Obito wanted. And it'd be a lot more entertaining than his original plan.

"Hn." Sasuke said. Kakashi could see an unholy gleam of interest in the boy's eyes. Sakura flushed, fiddling with the edge of her skirt. He'd have to press that habit out of her.

"I like fireworks and stuff." She said.

"Explosions are awesome!" Naruto cheered. Kakashi grinned under the mask, tucking his book away.

He clapped his hands. "I've decided you all passed!"

Oh he is going to have so much fun with this.

* * *

Sasuke had set upon the scroll of fire jutsus with a vengeance. And Naruto, well Naruto proved that with the amount of chakra he had, every technique was an explosive.

(That really was some ominous cackling. Kakashi was so proud.)

"Sakura, how good is your handwriting?" Because she didn't have the reserves yet to master the big fun jutsus yet.

Or the reserves to make the small ones big and interesting.

"I got top marks!" Sakura said, clearly proud of her win. He wasn't surprised by that, most of her skills tended toward mental instead of physical.

"Good, you'll need that." Kakashi tapped his chin. "I'm not the best so this may blow up in our faces but I'm going to teach you how to make explosive tags." Minato had taught him a bit.

Though, funnily enough, he had never let both Obito and Kakashi practice with explosive tags at the same time. How strange.

Sakura picked up quickly, producing small bangs within the hour. Sasuke glanced up from his work and let out an approving hn. Naruto was considerably more enthusiastic about her progress.

"That's awesome Sakura-chan! You're so smart!" Sakura flushed.

The next day, Kakashi bought a chemicals textbook devoted to the making of bombs. Sakura fell upon it and set herself to memorizing the recipes. Naruto and Sasuke helpfully annotated it with 'fun' facts.

* * *

"Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked hesitantly. Kakashi glanced up, completely unconcerned.

"What is it pink minion?"

"Why is Sasuke-kun holding onto Naruto's arm and cackling?" It was getting worrying. Sakura had paused from her chemicals textbook to watch it. The Uchiha hadn't run out of air yet.

Naruto looked like he was torn between excitement, concern for his health, and contemplating if gnawing his arm off would be worth it.

"Oh that? I tested Naruto's chakra affinity." Kakashi said. Sakura frowned pensively. Her own were Earth and Water, dangerous in the right hands. "He has a Wind affinity."

Sakura lit up. "And Sasuke prefers Fire and with Wind-"

"Really big boom." Kakashi said, nodding sagely.

* * *

The other teams figured out something was very very wrong at the first group spar.

It had seemed straightforward at first, Naruto had filled the surrounding area with shadow clones. Kiba and Shino had dealt with the clones efficiently but it was difficult for them to get to the InoShikaCho group who had retreated slightly. Ino was busily berating Shikamaru for his laziness.

No one noticed how Team 7 had pulled back slightly.

"Kiba could stand to refine his attacks." Asuma said, taking a drag from his cigarette. Kurenai hummed.

"Your team could stand to work on their cooperative skills." She said. Asuma sighed in frustration, running his free hand through his hair.

"I could but I think if I forced more team exercises on them, Shikamaru will smother me in my sleep." Asuma said. The lazy boy had not appreciated the trust fall exercise. Or the camping trip. Or the D Ranks designed to crush his soul.

His head twitched. Sakura and Naruto were creeping around the teams in a wide circle. As he watched, Sakura scattered a few white pieces of paper on the ground. Asuma squinted at the oddly familiar papers.

His eyes widened as Sakura and Naruto turned and bolted to where Sasuke was sitting in a tree.

"Oh shi-"

The Training Grounds exploded.

The bangs died down quickly and Asuma winced. He could already hear Ino's indignant yells. Then fireballs started to rain down on the training grounds.

He and Kurenai spun around to stare incredulously at Kakashi. The Jounin leaned against a tree, flipping idly through his book, seemingly unconcerned by his students doing their level best to blow the training grounds to pieces.

"Kakashi what the hell?" Kurenai said, wide eyed. Kakashi paused from his book, looking up all wide eyed and innocent.

They didn't believe it for a second.

"Oh my cute little minions?" Kakashi said. "They're very enthusiastic. I'm thinking of pursuing a demolition speciality."

Asuma cursed, yanking the cigarette out of his mouth. How many Water jutsus could he remember off the top of his head? Probably not enough. Kurenai looked like she shared the same feeling.

Kakashi, the bastard, looked positively gleeful.

* * *

Sarutobi cursed as he looked away from his crystal ball. He could have sworn the Haruno girl disliked explosives but considering how she hugged the chemicals textbook like a teddy bear, he had been wrong.

He really needed to retire. Preferably fast.

* * *

"Kakashi, are you sure you want to pursue a demolition specialty?" Sarutobi said delicately. Naruto looked stricken and Sarutobi winced. This was exactly what he would have preferred to avoid.

"But Jiji! I'm doing so good! And Sakura and Sasuke like it too!" Naruto said. Sakura nodded hurriedly, the girl obviously not trusting her voice. Sasuke, for his part, eyed him with malevolence only a bit below what the boy might manage with a Sharingan. None seemed enthused by Sarutobi's advice.

He leaned back in his chair, gaze landing on Kakashi. The enabler was leaning against the wall, idly flicking through his book. "And what do you have to say?"

"I'd rather keep pursuing a demolition speciality." Kakashi said, the very picture of a polite respectful shinobi. Or at least a polite shinobi who was politely informing their superior that this would be happening, sanctioned or not.

No explanation. Sarutobi sighed, rubbing at his temples. He was too old for this. "No training outside of Training Ground Seven. I'll expect you to learn the jutsus to maintain it and clean up after yourselves."

Naruto whooped, throwing himself around the desk for a hug. "Don't worry so much Jiji! This is going to be awesome, dattebayo!"

* * *

The mission to Wave went… well. Everybody agreed on the fact. The mission went perfectly.

(Ignore the scarecrow twisting their arm behind their back.)

Kakashi had picked up on the puddle immediately, then ignored it. Time to see how his adorable minions would react to their sensei being suddenly murdered.

Apparently demolition genin don't startle well. At all.

As soon as he replaced with a log under Genjutsu, Sasuke had already started spewing fire. The Demon Brothers had lunged, only to be forced back by Naruto unleashing a Wind jutsu which collided with Sasuke's fireball.

Thus turning the poor clearing into a roaring inferno. Kakashi glanced up from his book and winced reflexively.

Sakura's bag had been singed and she had dumped out the supplies inside on the ground before launching it into the inferno.

Said bag had been 'infused' with various chemicals during Sakura's experiments. And may have had an explosive tag or two in the lining. Whatever it was, it did put out the flames.

By reducing the clearing to a smoking crater.

Kakashi could now fully appreciate the former Demolition Corps motto: If explosives don't solve the problem, you aren't using enough.

He jumped down from his tee, clapping his hands. "Good job, my adorable little minions!"

Naruto shrieked. "Zombie! Get the napalm!"

Kakashi sighed, walking over to prod one of the singed Demon Brothers. Looked like they survived that. Barely. "I'm not a zombie, that was all a fun test for your reaction times! And now…" Kakashi said.

Lightning flickered in his hand, forming a sharp needle. (Which could, amusingly enough, be used to blow up objects). "Why would shinobi attack a bridge builder?"

Tazuna trembled from behind a earth wall Sakura had hastily constructed and shoved him behind while Naruto and Sasuke tried to set fire to everything. "Well, you see-" Tazuna said.

* * *

It took the team a bit longer to get going as Sakura refused to carry all of her delicate explosives in her arms instead of a storage seal. Kakashi amused himself by having lightning strike the same tree five times.

Screw probability, he had chakra.

Naruto seemed to have entered a fit of paranoia that wasn't triggered by Kakashi and was pelting anything moving with kunai. And several things not moving. And his teammates.

"Either calm down Naruto or I'm confiscating your fun stuff." Sakura threatened after her narrowly missed a rabbit. Naruto looked stricken by the very thought of losing his precious explosive seals.

"Get down!" Kakashi yelled, yanking Tazuna down with him. Sasuke and Naruto were seconds behind, automatically anticipating something explosive. Sakura took it one step further and used the hiding like a mole jutsu to disappear underground entirely.

Kakashi was kind of proud, those weeks spent trapping their houses with minor seals and weapons had really paid off.

The sword embedded itself into a tree and Zabuza landed neatly on top of it. Kakashi mentally gave the missing nin an seven out of time. Impressive entrance but much too noticeable. They were shinobi, not samurai.

"They sent Sharingan Kakashi, eh? And a bunch of pathetic little mice." Zabuza said, grinning under the mask. Sasuke jumped up from the ground.

"What's the status?" He commanded. There was a rustling behind him as Kakashi moved back to his feet. Naruto had apparently backed up and was currently playing with an explosive tag in what seemed to be a cat's cradle.

"Zabuza Momochi, Demon of the Bloody Mist, one of the Seven Swordsmen." Sakura's muffled voice said. Kakashi could see how Sasuke perked up. "But no fun stuff. He just has a really big sword."

Sakura seemed disgruntled by that. Naruto slumped. "Well that's disappointing. Team Ten got to fight a Fire affinity on their first C rank!" He whined. Kakashi shook his head sadly.

"It's okay Naruto, it just means you have to produce the pretty explosions yourself. Use the waterproof seals." He said.

Huh, he remembered Asuma mentioning something like that. Muffled by the sake the man seemed intent on drowning himself in. Apparently Ino had fired off Water jutsus in record time.

Naruto perked up within seconds.

Mist drew across the area and Kakashi felt a tinge of killing intent. Aw, it looked like Zabuza was playing nicer. "Silent killing is one of my favorite techniques." The missing nin's voice seemed to echo.

"Flash bang! Clear!" Sakura yelled. Kakashi snatched up Tazuna and bolted, not a second too soon. The momentum of the explosion nearly sent him tumbling and he righted himself with a displeased frown.

"Sakura minion, are you still having trouble placing explosives underground?" He called out. The mist was cleared by a forceful breeze, revealing Sasuke and Naruto perched in a tree on the opposite side of the crater.

"Sorry, I didn't calculate the times right and take in the soil density changing the explosion." Sakura said sounding apologetic.

"I think they made it out anyway." Sasuke said, looking displeased. The Uchiha did not seem happy with the large amounts of water around. Something, something, haven't gained access to the jutsus that could burn water yet.

(Apparently the Uchiha took the water nature of the Nidaime as a challenge.)

"Fucking brats!" Zabuza snapped, appearing on a branch behind Naruto. The boy yelped, flinging himself out of the tree.

The sword slashed through the air above his head, narrowly missing. Sasuke twisted, leaping to another tree branch further away. Sakura slid out of the ground, hands flipping through signs, an earth wall rising up to hide Tazuna from the missing nin's view.

Kakashi's eyes narrowed. Fine, if Zabuza wanted to play, then he'd play. His mask slid back and he lunged forward, the air becoming greasy. Zabuza turned, too slow now.

Kakashi could see the stab coming from a mile away. He slipped around and the air seemed to crackle.

Two senbon slid neatly into Zabuza's neck and he fell backwards, missing the lightning strike that broke apart the branch. Kakashi leaped backwards, arm coming up to shield against splinters.

Kakashi landed neatly on the ground. A Kiri hunting nin was bending over Zabuza, checking for life signs.

"Thank you for weakening him. I'll be taking his body with me now." The Kiri nin said. A swirl of mist, and they were gone.

Kakashi moved the band to cover his eye again. Looks like Zabuza was clever enough to leave an exit.

* * *

Maybe he should have told the minions his suspicions.

As soon as Zabuza had shown up on the bridge, Naruto paled dramatically. The foxy boy leaped back. "Zombie! Execute Plan Z!" He shrieked at the top of his lungs. Kakashi cocked his head, pausing in a lunge.

Plan Z apparently had Sasuke pushing all of the workers into the water then unleashing a barrage of fire. Sakura leaped up to perch on a railing, unsealing an ominous red scroll.

Said scroll apparently contained napalm. Kakashi twisted, narrowly avoiding a blast before leaping up as well.

Zabuza had been forced to retreat back, a wall of water moving between him and the fire barrage. One of Naruto's shadow clones was using tree walking underneath the bridge to strap explosives.

Then, it all went to hell.

Kakashi saw the senbon speeding toward Sasuke first, moving to intercept.

Only for Naruto to vault over a railing and fling himself in front of them.

The napalm barrage trickled to a stop, the firestorm already beginning to burn out. As the smoke cleared, Kakashi could see Sasuke was staring down with no small amount of horror.

Kakashi snarled, already moving. Lightning crackled around his arm as Chidori formed. Zabuza turned and the attack drove into his shoulder instead of the heart where Kakashi was aiming.

Kakashi swore, ripping his arm out and twisting. Sakura was already halfway to Naruto but the masked nin was moving to intercept.

"How dare you." Kakashi twitched. That probably wasn't good. Sasuke was shaking, his head down. "I'll kill you for that." Sasuke snarled, looking up.

"Amaterasu!"

* * *

And that was why, hours later, Naruto looked like he had found religion even as Sakura jerked shrapnel out of his arm. She didn't say anything, mostly because that would bring up her maniacal giggle fit as black fire consumed the bridge.

"Good news minions!" Kakashi said cheerily, landing in the clearing. "Sasuke minion will recover soon. Disappointingly though, Zabuza and Haku survived. They already left." Kakashi said.

Albeit heavily singed and nursing burn wounds. Kakashi's team made it out in time, well used to unpredictable explosions. Zabuza and Haku hadn't had the same reflex.

Sakura had practically hiraishined to Naruto and dove off the bridge.

"And Tazuna says they'll likely fix the bridge soon! Seems like Gato was killed by some shrapnel." Kakashi might have nudged it towards the man with a well aimed jutsu but nobody had any proof. None.

* * *

"Alright! It should be done!" Sakura said, sitting back with a grin. This new demolition seal was a masterpiece.

"Awesome Sakura!" Naruto said, bouncing over. Sasuke grunted, slumping back against the wall.

If the Hokage and most of the senseis had their way, Team Seven would never be left unsupervised. Unfortunately for them, Kakashi should not be counted as adult supervision. He had left his students with a bag of sealing supplies and an admonishment to play nice.

"Just channel a little bit of chakra in." Sakura said, beaming with pride. Naruto gave her a thumbs up, pressing a finger to the seal.

It started glowing an ominous deep red. Sakura frowned. "Either I wrote it wrong or… Naruto how much chakra did you put in there?" She said, sliding to her feet.

"Just enough to make ten shadow clones!" Naruto protested. Sakura paled, mind running through calculations. Mind made up, she turned and sprinted away as fast as she could.

Sasuke already had a head start, not trusting Naruto to show restraint.

Sakura was so focused on getting as far away as possible, she bowled over the boy before she could stop.

"Hey, what the hell?" The boy said. He was definitely not from Konoha, Ino would have told her of a boy in a cat suit and purple make up. Konohamaru was sprawled across the ground nearby.

Before the boy could shove her off and stand, an explosion rocked across the ground. Sakura yelped as a flaming fence post flew over her head.

"Welcome to Konoha." She said in a deadpan tone of voice. The boy looked like he was seriously reconsidering his decision to be here. Sakura pushed herself on to her feet, taking a few steps back.

"Sakura-chan! Oh there's the fence post!" Naruto said. They picked up the still smoldering fence post and walked away, humming cheerfully. Sakura chuckled, pulling up Konohamaru and following. Someone would have to coax Sasuke out of murdering Naruto for being an idiot.

* * *

As soon as Anko appeared behind Naruto, the boy shrieked. The hissing of a demolition tag filled the air.

Sakura and Sasuke vanished behind a bunker seal. Ino yelped, yelled "Incoming!" And she and Shikamaru tackled Choji. The boy tugged his teammates below ground reflexively. Tenten cursed, unsealing a portable metal bunker from a seal and hunkering down inside. Neji snagged Lee's collar and the two vanished inside as well. Shino twitched as Kiba grabbed his sleeve and both bolted into the Forest of Death. Hinata was already ahead, having seen the chakra flow.

The arriving teams was left blinking cluelessly at the native's insane antics. And then the explosive seal went off.

* * *

Outtake 1:

Naruto stared after the Akatsuki with wide eyes.

"Deidara of Iwa, former demolitions Corp, able to blow things up with clay." Kakashi said. Naruto inhaled.

"I want him! Can we keep him forever and ever and blow stuff up with him?" Naruto said. Kakashi eye smiled, ruffling a hand through his minions hair. They really did grow up so fast.

* * *

Outtake 2:

Tobi giggled as he watched Deidara stalk away. The teen was so prickly, and so very very explosive.

His first team wasn't demolitions but now he had a shiny new volatile partner. It was almost worth the loss of Sasori's skill.

* * *

 **Kakashi's an enabler, the Uchiha are pyromaniacs and Naruto and Sakura aren't much better.**

 **I might turn this into a two shot, I have some fun ideas for the Chunin Exams and Orochimaru. And the Akatsuki.**

 **If you enjoyed please review, follow, or favorite! I really enjoy reading reviews.**


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